12-month depression follow-up — honest report, not a testimonial

The good: the quality of my depression changed after the sessions. Pre-sessions it had a flat, anhedonic quality — nothing mattered, couldn't feel pleasure, future felt unreal. Post-sessions it became more episodic and emotional — I had hard days, sometimes very hard, but they felt more alive somehow. I could feel sad rather than just numb. That's a real change and I don't discount it.

The complicated: I'm still on antidepressants (I tapered SSRIs for the sessions, restarted after). I still see my therapist weekly. Psilocybin was not a cure and anyone who tells you it will be one for treatment-resistant depression is misleading you. What it was: a reset of some kind, an opening, a period of about 3 months where change felt possible in a way it hadn't before. I used that window aggressively — changed my job, ended a relationship, moved apartments. Those changes mattered as much as the sessions themselves.

Would I do it again: yes. Would I recommend it to someone else with treatment-resistant depression: yes, with realistic expectations. It is a powerful tool in a toolkit, not the toolkit itself. Integration, therapy, lifestyle, relationships — all still matter. The sessions just made me more capable of engaging with those things for a period.