One year after my first serious session — honest assessment of what changed
267 replies · Integration
A year ago I had my first high-dose psilocybin experience (3.5g, therapeutically guided). I wrote about it at the time with a lot of enthusiasm. I want to revisit that now with more perspective. Some of what I expected to last has lasted. Some has drifted back. And some changes I didn't notice at the time have turned out to be the most significant.
The changes that lasted (two years out): reduced baseline anxiety, a different relationship to self-criticism, improved ability to be present. The changes that didn't last: specific emotional insights about family patterns, which required ongoing therapy to sustain.
This is such a needed counterpoint to the 'one session changed everything forever' narratives. Integration is work. The session opens a door. You still have to walk through it — and that involves therapy, community, practice, and time.
The changes I didn't expect to last: how I handle conflict. I'm much less reactive in arguments — I can stay present rather than escalating or shutting down. My partner noticed this more than anything else.
264 more replies — forum posting coming soon.