What to do when someone is having a difficult experience — a practical guide
109 replies · Harm Reduction
I've satt for friends and strangers at events and I want to share what I've learned about managing difficult experiences — because most of the advice online is either too vague ('just be present') or too focused on the clinical/facilitated setting and not applicable to informal situations where someone needs support right now.
The most important thing I've learned: the goal is not to end the experience. The goal is to make the person feel safe enough to be in the experience.
Physical first: Move them to a quiet, less stimulating environment if possible. Temperature, lighting, and noise matter enormously. Warm blankets. Dim lights. Reduce the number of people present. One calm person is better than four anxious people.
Voice: Speak slowly, calmly, in simple sentences. 'You are safe. This is temporary. You took a medicine. It will pass.' Avoid complex questions or asking them to make decisions. Don't try to reason them out of the experience — mirror calm instead. Physical contact only if they consent explicitly.
When to call emergency services: If they express suicidal intent and have a specific plan, if they are in physical danger to themselves or others, or if they have a medical condition that could be compromised. Confusion, fear, crying, and emotional distress are not medical emergencies — they are the experience. Grounding, breathing, and calm presence are appropriate first responses.
106 more replies — forum posting coming soon.